day 10...need a deep breath

my head feels like it's going to explode today with everything i'm trying to do to get ready to leave and all of the emotional ups and downs that comes with that. goodbyes are such strange and nebulous things and i've had my fair share of them over the past few days. i have this incredible sensation of incompleteness, of wait that can't be it, and it's so weird to me that i'll get on a plane on saturday and boom a two year chapter of my life will be closed just like that. all the people and the places that i've become so accustomed to will no longer be a part of my everyday life (and many of them i may not ever even see again). i've been reflecting on all this quite a bit in the past few days and i've decided that i just don't think we are wired for goodbyes as human beings. it never seems real until after the fact because people, experiences, and places leave their marks on us in such subtle and yet complex ways that it is impossible to draw all of that influence into a single moment and to end it just like that. feeling like i'm in for a bit of a roller coaster in the coming weeks and although i know it might be difficult to stay on track, in a way i'm glad that i started another challenge because i'm hoping that it will be something that will feel familiar or routine in the midst of all this change...